loss of dog – tierneycreates

Well it’s been 2 weeks since Mike the Miniature Schnauzer passed and I thought I would give it a go on returning to blogging. I struggled to decide what to do first: 1) catch up on my blogging buddies’ posts; or 2) write a post myself. I decided to just go with writing a post first and then work on catching up on others’ posts.

The BIG Decision

They say that the best way to heal a broken heart from the loss of your dog is to bring a new puppy or adult dog into your life. John and I have made the decision not get another dog anytime soon. I am going to ramble on a bit about that decision.

Before I met John over 5 years ago when I moved to Colorado in 2019, he’d lived without a dog (he formerly also had a Miniature Schnauzer) for a couple years. His dog had passed and a couple years later his wife passed after a long difficult illness. But when I added Mike to his life he was very happy and realized the intense grief that followed his wife’s passing might have been eased a tiny bit if he had a dog to comfort him.

I’ve lived with at least one dog since I was in my mid 20s when my late husband Terry, a dog-person like me, insisted that we adopt a little Miniature Schnauzer Kerie that had been found in a drainage ditch by firefighters during a hurricane when we lived in Houston, Texas, and were volunteering with a local shelter as Animal Assisted Therapy Volunteers.

Terry and I adopted many rescued Miniature Schnauzers over the years and for the past 30+ years I’ve not had a period without at least one dog in the house. Usually we had two dogs and as soon as one passed we got another one as soon one was available (usually through Portland Miniature Schnauzer Rescue contacting us that they had a Miniature Schnauzer that needs a home!).

When Mike passed, I realized that for over 30 years my life decisions (primarily travel plans) have been guided by the fact I had a dog(s). There were many trips I did not take because of not having someone to watch the dogs or not wanting to be away from the dogs very long, etc.

John and I discussed: what would life be like if we could just travel when we wanted and not incur the cost of dog camp/dog sitters. What would life be like it we could just go out to dinner, see a movie, wander around Denver, etc. when we wanted and for as long as we wanted during our free time?

I never considered life without a dog as it is all I’ve known since being a young adult, and there are so many benefits (and just basic joy) that comes with having a dog that outweighs any sacrifices you have to make. But John and I made it through the greatest losses of our lives (our life-partners of over 30 years), what if we took a break from “responsibility” and just lived life for ourselves for a while?

Later on when we’ve gotten the travel and adventure bug out of our systems we might add a dog to our life (no cats, John is very allergic and I am mildly allergic); but we don’t have to decide anytime soon.

I’ve spent what seems all my life (yes actually all my life as I loved dogs as a child) as a “dog person” and it will be strange not to be a “dog person”. But I realized I am still a “dog person” as we recently returned from a couple days visiting Breckenridge, Colorado and I visited with many dogs wandering about – dogs are part of my heart, I just don’t have to live with one to still love them.

So not having plans to get another dog right now is a HUGE decision for me and I wanted to share my musings about it.

Dealing with the Loss of Mike

Mike was a huge part of our lives. He was more than just a “guest blogger” (ha!) on this blog. Our lives sort of revolved around Mike. So life without Mike is very strange but we’ve been adapting. The grief comes and goes and John and I both remind ourselves that we made it through the loss of our life-partners, so we can make it through this loss.

We’ve been trying to distract ourselves with various projects including re-arranging the furniture in our basement where Mike laid in his cushion everyday next to John while he telecommuted for work. It was difficult for John to go to the basement and log into work each day without Mike by his side. (By the way, Mike was the “dog love” of John’s life – see the Postscript section of the post Misadventures in Ice Fishing) So we moved his desk to another area and rearranged the basement layout.

John’s been staying busy with woodworking projects and recently a couple of small and lovely 3-D cutting boards, one of which I had to keep for my own:

I’ve been working on some crafting projects and will share them in future posts.

It was difficult to clean out Mike’s stuff (his stuff was integrated into the whole house) but we were able to donate his stuff to several other dog households including a couple who is actively involved in animal rescue and have 3 rescued dogs themselves.

I appreciate all the thoughtful comments people made on the blog post about Mike’s passing. I received thoughtful condolence cards and e-mails; as well as an out-of-state group of friends sent us a delicious box of ice cream from Salt & Straw that we got to share with a local group of friends at a dinner party we had last week.

This same group of out-of-state friends sent us a custom wind-chime with a Miniature Schnauzer on it and Mike’s name which we hung in our backyard where Mike loved to play ball.

John and I have begun planning/discussing some big trips in the future now that we no longer have a dog to include an across Canada train trip, and traveling to Japan and New Zealand. We’ve listed out all the places we’ve ever wanted to travel and we are constantly discussing what to do with our new “freedom”.

We get to test out a life of just being caretakers of ourselves (John raised kids and then was primary caretaker of his late wife who had a long illness; and I cared for an endless stream of rescue dogs…which was of course a much easier undertaking than of course John’s journey) for once in our adult lives.

Remembering Mike

Many of your have followed our adventures with Mike for many years and I thought I would close out this post with a gallery of photos of Mike from my blog posts over the years. Thanks for sharing my Mike journey with me and if you want to read the story of how Mike originally ended up in my life see this post – Taking Chances: The Mike Hogan Chronicles (re-post).

I like to think that Mike’s spirit is traveling around in the afterlife in a grocery box and a shopping cart/trolley, his favorite mode of transportation…perhaps my late husband Terry, the reason why Mike was even in my life, is pushing that shopping cart.