Stories from the Road, Part III

Hello to my blogging community.

I am continuing my series of posts about my new journey as a widow after losing my partner for more than half my life, Terry the Quilting Husband (TTQH).

My first two posts in this series Stories from the Road, Part I, and Stories from the Road, Part II were literally about a journey – a road trip with my sister across 4 states to see family on the East Coast and to celebrate TTQH’s life. This post is focused on my figurative journey navigating the grieving process and moving forward with my new life after the loss of the love of my life.

Before I dive into that, I wanted to say thank you to those of you who left thoughtful comments on my previous posts with your condolences and support. I’ve read all of them. I also appreciate those who have reached out via e-mail and/or also sent cards.

I miss regularly blogging and interacting with my regular blogging community (to include reading and commenting on your blog posts, etc.) but the profound grief that comes with such a loss consumes mental and physical energy on a level I cannot put into words.

I will likely at moments ramble in this post, but hopefully I will stay fairly coherent (smile).

The Widow’s Walk

I’ve loss both my parents but I’ve never experienced grief on this level. I do take one day at a time and each day does get a little better and the walk to get through each day seems a little less long and painful.

I’ve been focusing on planning for my next journey in life, which I discuss in a moment, and this has made me hopeful.

I would say my current state of mind is “sad but hopeful“.

I’ve decided to sell my house and move out of Central Oregon this Spring. I am not ready to share yet on my blog where I have decided to move, but will in the future.

Over the past couple of weeks I’ve been cleaning and clearing out many items from TTQH’s life and my life. I think all the thrift shops and shelters in town are tired of my endless carloads of donations.

In addition to local charity thrift shops, I am pleased with the groups I’ve been able to help out by donating TTQH’s stuff. For example I was able to donate all of his historical gaming miniatures/figures to the Hobby University of the Historical Miniature Gaming Society.  I was able to donate some cool stuff to a local Veterans Association. I know TTQH would have approved.

In preparation to sell the house and to move to a smaller space temporarily, I’ve been significantly downsizing my possessions. I’ve dabbled with Minimalism in the past (see my series of posts tagged with the category My Minimalism Journey) but I still had a lot of stuff.

It seems like now I am able to be “brutal” with downsizing my stuff and now able to let go more easily. When you experience such a significant loss, things just do not seem as important/precious as they did before.

For example, here is a growing pile of recycled fabric acquired over the years, that is headed to the local thrift shop:


Mike the Miniature Schnauzer and I will be on a road trip this Spring to our new home. I will of course bring my tierneycreates Beastie (see series of posts in the category Beastie Adventures) on the road with us and she might be guest blogging to share stories of our journey from Central Oregon to our new location in the U.S. (staying in the States).

I do plan to return to quilting and blogging about lighter topics. I plan to finish the Tula Pink All Star quilt I last wrote about in the post Tula in a Box; and to continue the story on Secret Quilt Revealed, Part I.

Feature Photo by delfi de la Rua on Unsplash

51 thoughts on “Stories from the Road, Part III”

  1. I have just lost my Mum and this is hard enough, but you have lost someone even dearer to you than your parent. My SIL when she lost her husband moved house too and downsized, she says that it was exactly the right thing to do. The very best of luck on your new journey. xx

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  2. Hi Tierney, I had a similar reaction when my only sister died: so few material possessions seemed to have any value, it was easy to let them go. Best wishes for your journey and your move. Mary

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  3. Tierney I am so glad to see this post. I’m glad to see you are moving along, at what ever pace works for you. I can’t imagine your pain, but am hopeful that you are on your way to a happy day sometime in the future.

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  4. Interesting how ‘stuff’ becomes irrelevant and even burdensome after such a profound and wrenching loss. We lost my father and my brother in law this year to terminal illnesses and my nephew to the opioid epidemic. None of course were my life partner, but I feel the same way you do about downsizing- a huge chunk of the things in my house need to move along to new homes (this truth finally revealed itself to me as we began clearing out my 92-year-old father’s house). The local Goodwill and Salvation Army orgs will be seeing a lot of me this year as I redirect my own journey. Peace to you Tierney, and spinning the prayer wheel your next chapter begins on a better note than this one ended on. I hope the space you create by removing the superfluous is freeing!

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    1. Carolyn, I am so terribly sorry for your loss. Thanks for sharing your experience. Peace to you also and I so appreciate your thoughtful comments. I got to check out some of the wonderful recipes on your blog 🙂

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  5. I really understand why having a plan is helpful, as it gives some direction to what must be a mire of emotions and indecisions. I am sure there is a quilt analogy in here somewhere…..maybe needing to see the patterns and colours you have used before to help make the next block. Or maybe you are beginning a whole new one.

    I hope that your new home has a brilliant library just around the corner ☺️

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  6. Thanks for sharing the journey, Tierney. I’m wishing you lots of strength, peace, and love in the weeks ahead as you plan your major move and transition to a new home with Mike. You are strong and brave for being able to do so, and as your post reminds me, there is lots to hope for. ❤ Sending many hugs to you. ❤

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  7. Beautiful post Tierney. I am so impressed with how you are embracing the change, brutally hard as it may be, to shape the next phase of your life. Love to you.

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  8. I agree with the sentiments of most of these commenters…so I’ll add a different note – I recognize two of the fabrics in your pile of recycled fabrics that are probably already at the thrift shop! The large rusty brown piece on the right and the blue bubble piece below and to the left of that.

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  9. I do not have the maturity or experience to say or type the right thing. I just know when I am feeling the weight over whatever the situation is, I try to get outside and go somewhere peaceful. Dont want to have a bunch of people around me, but being outside with trees, flowers, snow, wild life, that is a nice place to be. And sense I take a lot of photos, I keep them nearby so I can remember who I am missing. Again, I don’t know much but I reckon its okay to keep some things.

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  10. Wow Tierney. This is a a lot to remove after all the years together. I know how it feels as I cared for and lost both parents at Christmas time within a 4 year period. I can’t imagine losing a spouse. With that being said, it has taking me 5 YEARS to finally rid our home, garage and a storage space of my family’s personal items, and “stuff” that shocked me that I held on to. Finally in December of 2018 I felt this relief when we emptied an $80 a month storage x 5 years free. It is very mental of course to hang on that long. I feel free. I truly enjoy reading your blog, no matter where life is taking you. You are gifted and it allows you to voice these true life experiences and I am blessed to be part of your journey.
    Big hugs,

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  11. Hello Tierney! It’s been so good catching up with you this morning… I’m sitting here in complete awe of your strength and positivity. All the best with the next steps in your new journey… And if that road happens to bring you over to Ireland, the Beasties and I are here to welcome you! Thinking of you 🙂

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