A Crafter's Life

Remembering Terry the Quilting Husband (TTQH)

Nearly a year has passed since my beautiful life radically changed when I suddenly loss my husband Terry who’d I been with since I was 20 years old.

On my blog he was known as “Terry the Quilting Husband” or “TTQH” as one of my blog readers named him.

He began quilting in 2014 and if you’d like to check out posts related to his adventures as quilter, they are in the series of postsΒ  Terry the Quilting Husband (TTQH)


Today is his birthday (December 2) and I wanted to honor and remember him with this post. I do not want to celebrate him on the day he passed (December 13, 2018), I want to celebrate him on the day that this world was lucky enough to have him join it!

AsΒ  we discussed in the 8-week Spousal Loss Grief Support group I attended in early 2019, when your life partner dies your immediate focus is on that person’s death and the tremendous loss in your life.

However that person had a whole entire life before their death, and in the support group we spent time focused on their life and what our lives with them meant to us.

TTQH was an incredible person and my best friend life partner. We had so much fun together and so many wonderful adventures. In the immediate wake of the loss, all I could see was the loss. Now, nearly a year later, I can step back and look at what an absolutely blessed and amazing life I was lucky enough to have for more than 1/2 my life with him.

And in 2014 he joined me in my quilting hobby and created 10+ quilts (and helped with many more) that brought a lot of joy to people. He gave the first quilt he made to his mother (who passed a year before him, December 2017). He even exhibited several quilts at the Sisters Outdoor Quilt Show in the Man Made Exhibit and sold two quilts!

Speaking of adventures – how lucky I was to have a life partner who loved going to quilt shops with me (and selecting his own huge collection of dog themed or fishing themed fabrics) and shared what was important to me – quilting. He looked forward every year to the April Central Oregon Quilt Shop Hop (he won a sewing machine one year at shop hop!) and to see if he could outdo me in fabric purchasing!

Here he is wandering around a quilt shop on his own, with our dog Mike in tow:

2018-05-16_16-17-56_002.jpegSo today I celebrate him!

Happy Birthday TTQH and thank you for the amazing life I shared with you.

To close out this post, let me share a poem by Henry Scott-Holland that I stumbled upon that made me cry and smile simultaneously.

Death Is Nothing At All

Death is nothing at all.
It does not count.
I have only slipped away into the next room.
Nothing has happened.

Everything remains exactly as it was.
I am I, and you are you,
and the old life that we lived so fondly together is untouched, unchanged.
Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.

Call me by the old familiar name.
Speak of me in the easy way which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes that we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word that it always was.
Let it be spoken without an effort, without the ghost of a shadow upon it.

Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was.
There is absolute and unbroken continuity.
What is this death but a negligible accident?

Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am but waiting for you, for an interval,
somewhere very near,
just round the corner.

All is well.
Nothing is hurt; nothing is lost.
One brief moment and all will be as it was before.
How we shall laugh at the trouble of parting when we meet again!

49 thoughts on “Remembering Terry the Quilting Husband (TTQH)”

  1. What a beautiful poem! Thank you for sharing it! It makes me happy that you have the wonderful memories of your husband and that you shared them with us. I am new to your blog, and I love it!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh, Tierney, what beautiful words and thoughts you have shared with us. And the poem has such wisdom to impart. Keep on enjoying the thoughts of all you and Terry shared and continue to share! How blessed we have been with these very special life partners.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Beautiful tribute Tierney, thank you for sharing him with us. I always enjoy your posts about him. Wonderful and fitting poem. Nancy

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Such wise words, Tierney. It is very profound to cherish the life you had together, rather than focussing on the loss. I love the poem too. This may bring you some comfort too
    “A man lives for as long as we carry him inside us,
    For as long as we carry the harvest of his dreams,
    For as long as we ourselves live,
    Holding memories in common, a man lives”
    Brian Patten

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for stopping by and reading and I am sorry to read about your husband. Although my husband was never in hospice, the local Hospice organization was where I attended the Spousal Loss Grief support group and people who work in hospice are higher life forms. The group was difficult at first (it was a cry fest each meeting) but I got so much out of it and the facilitator was amazing. Being around people that understood exactly what I was going through was so important. It is a rough journey but you are stronger than you know, hugs.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Thank you. The poem is wonderful. There is so much I want to say about remembering a person’s life. But the poem says it all

    Liked by 1 person

  6. You have been an inspiration this last 12 months, this is a wonderful, thoughtful post and a beautiful poem – I have a notebook where I write poems out that mean something to me, this one is in my little book. Take care Tierney x

    Liked by 1 person

  7. What a lovely, inspirational post Tierney. Sharing something with such depth of emotion has got to be so hard, but also very hopeful. Kudos to you, my brave friend- you are my hero.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Tierney, thanks so much for sharing such a great post on TTQH. There are so many great parts to this post. I just shared it with my niece and nephew who lost their Mom last year as well, they are both having a difficult time. Thanks for sharing again.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Thank you for sharing this beautiful birthday tribute to TTQH. I’m touched by these memories you’ve shared of him, and am with you in appreciating the lovely poem. I hope you are doing well, Tierney, and look forward to reading more. ❀

    Liked by 1 person

Comments are closed.